Untitled WIP - Mustang fic
Aug. 22nd, 2006 07:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
janus_74Here's what I have of that Untitled Mustang fic. I'll try to finish it up soon-ish and will "officially" post it then. You'll notice it's almost all dialog, because for the most part that's how I write. Dialog first then action and exposition.
Setting: In Season 4, instead of dating Kelso, Jackie is dating Hyde and her dad finds out and cuts her off. When this starts, they're on the couch doing some neckin'
"Did you hear something?"
"No," His mouth grazed her jaw as he worked his way down her neck. "And neither did you."
"No really," she pushed on his chest in a futile attempt to move. "I think-"
The sound of footsteps could not be mistaken. Nobody was supposed to be home.
Nobody was supposed to find them here together.
And that same nobody was going to kill her when he saw who she was with.
"Jacqueline, what's going on here?"
"Yeah Jackie," Hyde crossed his arms and leaned back against the couch. "What's up?"
She looked from one to the other, trying to quickly come up with an answer that would satisfy them both. This was so very bad.
"This is because your mother and I didn't get you that Mustang for your birthday isn't it? Well I'll buy you the car if you stop seeing him."
"Daddy!"
"If you buy *me* a car I'll stop seeing her."
"Steven--" Jackie whirled around to face him.
"You've got yourself a deal son."
"Daddy!"
Hyde gave her an innocent look. "What? The man wants to give money away one of us should take it."
"Daddy you can't!"
"I can and I will. I won't have you running around with some hoodlum-"
"He's not-"
"Really, I am Jackie."
"Steven, you're not helping." She hissed at him.
"You've got more brains than that Michael Kelso fellow, I'll give you that."
"Thank you sir."
They both waited for her answer.
Moment of truth.
She shook her head negatively. "I won't stop seeing him."
"I'm sorry you feel that way Jacqueline." Her dad said slowly.
She slumped on the couch and crossed her arms over her chest. "I can't believe you would have sold our love for a car."
Hyde gently squeezed her shoulder as he walked past. "Don't kid yourself. I would have taken a lot less."
"Steven that's not funny."
"Lots of people have jobs; it's not the end of the world."
"But I'm pretty. Pretty people shouldn't have to work. In fact, I think it's a law somewhere. The uggos are put on this earth to make sure we can just sit around and be beautiful."
He pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah. Whatever."
"What's with her?" Eric nodded towards Jackie.
Hyde just shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"Everything!" Jackie wailed. "Daddy found out that Steven and I are dating and now he's cut me off and I have to get a job." She slumped back against the couch unaware of the silence that fell over the room.
Curiosity got the better of her and she peeked at Donna, who was looking at Eric, who was staring at Hyde. Hyde rubbed his forehead and gestured towards the basement door.
She winced and slowly turned to see Kelso standing in the doorway, hand still on the knob and looking unbelievingly at her.
"Damn Jackie!
Setting: In Season 4, instead of dating Kelso, Jackie is dating Hyde and her dad finds out and cuts her off. When this starts, they're on the couch doing some neckin'
"Did you hear something?"
"No," His mouth grazed her jaw as he worked his way down her neck. "And neither did you."
"No really," she pushed on his chest in a futile attempt to move. "I think-"
The sound of footsteps could not be mistaken. Nobody was supposed to be home.
Nobody was supposed to find them here together.
And that same nobody was going to kill her when he saw who she was with.
"Jacqueline, what's going on here?"
"Yeah Jackie," Hyde crossed his arms and leaned back against the couch. "What's up?"
She looked from one to the other, trying to quickly come up with an answer that would satisfy them both. This was so very bad.
"This is because your mother and I didn't get you that Mustang for your birthday isn't it? Well I'll buy you the car if you stop seeing him."
"Daddy!"
"If you buy *me* a car I'll stop seeing her."
"Steven--" Jackie whirled around to face him.
"You've got yourself a deal son."
"Daddy!"
Hyde gave her an innocent look. "What? The man wants to give money away one of us should take it."
"Daddy you can't!"
"I can and I will. I won't have you running around with some hoodlum-"
"He's not-"
"Really, I am Jackie."
"Steven, you're not helping." She hissed at him.
"You've got more brains than that Michael Kelso fellow, I'll give you that."
"Thank you sir."
They both waited for her answer.
Moment of truth.
She shook her head negatively. "I won't stop seeing him."
"I'm sorry you feel that way Jacqueline." Her dad said slowly.
She slumped on the couch and crossed her arms over her chest. "I can't believe you would have sold our love for a car."
Hyde gently squeezed her shoulder as he walked past. "Don't kid yourself. I would have taken a lot less."
"Steven that's not funny."
"Lots of people have jobs; it's not the end of the world."
"But I'm pretty. Pretty people shouldn't have to work. In fact, I think it's a law somewhere. The uggos are put on this earth to make sure we can just sit around and be beautiful."
He pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah. Whatever."
"What's with her?" Eric nodded towards Jackie.
Hyde just shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"Everything!" Jackie wailed. "Daddy found out that Steven and I are dating and now he's cut me off and I have to get a job." She slumped back against the couch unaware of the silence that fell over the room.
Curiosity got the better of her and she peeked at Donna, who was looking at Eric, who was staring at Hyde. Hyde rubbed his forehead and gestured towards the basement door.
She winced and slowly turned to see Kelso standing in the doorway, hand still on the knob and looking unbelievingly at her.
"Damn Jackie!
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Date: 2006-09-03 06:43 am (UTC)But oh what you've given us already is so great. Hyde's line about the car made me laugh. It's exactly what he would've said.
And also the ending made me laugh too bec/ ah...it's so very Kelso. Your characterizations rock as always.
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Date: 2006-09-04 07:41 pm (UTC)